“Totally Real” Affixes

Mirrored: Every cast is reflected.

Chaotic: Every mob in the instance is a random mob from another instance

Frost Armor: Chance on attack you become encased in ice and your team must break you out.

Fraudulent: Every mob kill 5% chance game will whisper your credit card information to all your friends.

Parental: For every mob killed you feel worse about how you choose to spend your time.

Insulting: Mobs will inspect your gear and achievements and mock you based on your shortcomings.

Security: Can’t type anything to your teammates without filling out a random CAPTCHA first.

Scramble: Everyone’s specs will be randomly changed every minute.

Cravings: Upon entering the dungeon you will automatically crave a baked potato but you know you don’t have time to wait for that shit to cook in the oven.

Feline: The litter granules in your keyboard are rattled by your button mashing, causing you to run in aimless directions randomly every 96 seconds.
Inopportune: 15% Chance that your delivery will show up mid-pull (boss fights only).

Sharing: Wiping the dungeon will result in a public post on your connected Facebook account with the link to the last Pornhub foray you ventured into.

Reaction: You will be covered in hives for the entire instance. Scratching any hive results in movement speed reduced by 50%.

Heave: Mobs will not only dismount you every time, but mount you first, and then dismount you.

Mutiny: Dungeon is no different but you are in a five-way PVP duel with your teammates and the last one alive at the end gets the chest. (Alternate – Mutiny: Only one player may loot the final chest. Allies are flagged as enemies.)

Boring:

Disparate: Players deal twice as much damage. All players generate 80% less threat. Enemies have 100% more health.

Profound: All RP takes 30% longer, and all bosses speak 50% louder.

 
Fleeting: One mob in every pack evades.

Radiation: You will be exposed to UV Rays.

Uniting: Every second a player isn’t near at least 3 other players, they take 20% of their max health as damage.

Rascal: A raccoon will burst into your house during the dungeon and chew on your cables.

Aquatic: All instances are now underwater dungeons.

Marked: Target markers will randomly be assigned to enemies, and world markers will randomly spawn throughout the dungeon.

Prepared: All enemies are immune until your group had successfully performed a ready check and your healer has full mana.

 

Tilting: Can’t do ANYTHING without SHIT HAPPENING.

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